Dear Ms. Feverfew –
Today is a 2-for-1 deal. Instead of just one letter from me, you get two!
So your birthday is coming up next week and as you can only imagine, I am a frayed mess of emotions. I am definitely not a pleasant person to be around right now.
Especially today. All day today I have been alternately sullen, surly, churlish, curt, cantankerous, grumpy, dour or all of the above at the same time. I have also been intermittently weepy, teary-eyed, and a basic blubbering idiot.
I have been chalking it up to the extreme lack of sleep a newborn brings to a mother’s world, especially one that wants to nurse every 2 – 2 1/2 hours. (You do the math – it takes about an hour to an hour 15 minutes to feed her, another 20-30 minutes to get her back to sleep which means that at the absolute most, I have about 45 minutes to get anything done, including sleep. It’s usually closer to 25 minutes or so. Times that by 10 or 11 times a day and that makes for one well fed baby but extremely exhausted mother.)
At any rate, in an effort to get her to sleep this evening, I took her for a walk in her Maya wrap. Probably not the best idea since I am not yet 5 weeks post-op, but I am desperate at this point to get her to sleep. While I was walking, it dawned on me…today is the 18th anniversary of your due date.
It’s also the last time I ever heard from your father. He called me to find out if you had been born yet and told me that he was certain that you weren’t his and that he wished I had just aborted you.
No wonder I am in such a pissy mood today.
That is all I have time to write right now. Princess P. is in the bassinet next to the bed here and has started crying. I mean after all, it has been almost two entire hours since she last ate.