4 thoughts on “Little Bit o’ Love

    • Thanks, Susie. I kept myself busy and out of trouble for the most part. The hard parts were in the morning and just before falling asleep when I didn’t have motion to keep my mind off of it. I survived though – another one in the tank, so to speak. You would think it would be getting easier, 19 years on, but it is getting harder. Just another one of those adoption paradoxes that seems to defy explanation.


  1. I feel your pain just having gone through my son’s 19th birthday in April. I think it gets harder because we held on to the hope for 18 very long years that once they were “an adult” we could see them, touch them, hold them, hear them and love them in person again…

    sadly it doesn’t really work that way and muddling though this reunion stuff is just hard. I don’t know how you even formed coherent sentences on this day as I was pretty much a basket case!

    • Nicole – That is exactly what this year’s birthday felt like! Last year when she turned 18, I had such hopes (there, I said it out loud. I hoped…) This year though? No hopes, just lots of tears and anger at myself for being so stupid all those years ago. I know it is cold comfort and little defense, but I did not know what I was doing to her or to me. I was trusting my priesthood leaders and my parents.

      It doesn’t make this any easier though.

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