Dear Ms. Feverfew –
Someone asked me if I had plans to publish the memoir I am writing. Yes, I will publish it when the time is right. They then asked me if I thought it was “fair” to profit off of your story and your loss. I gently reminded them it was just as much my story and my loss and that I will make every effort to balance privacy concerns with how the story is told. I also reminded them of my plans to establish a center that focuses on family preservation and adoptee rights issues.
I want to be able to offer scholarships for natural parents and adoptees to attend important events and demonstrations. I want to be able to provide life skills education for single mothers. I want to be able to offer child-care scholarships for young single mothers who are trying to finish school. I want to offer counseling services for adoptees and natural families at this center. I want to fund research projects that examine the life-long affects of adoption on natural families and adoptees. I want to do more to help the forgotten children in the adoption constellation – the natural siblings of the adoptee – people like your brothers and your sister. I have big plans but I don’t have a big bank account. Since I am not independently wealthy nor do I have a trust fund, I need some money to do accomplish those goals. This book will help me do that.
The bottom line is the hurt from adoption in my life has not been healed and I do not see wholeness on the horizon, no matter how much I beg and plead with God to remove these wounds from my side and my heart. As a faithful daughter of God, it then becomes my duty to ask three questions.
- What can I learn from this pain?
- What can I change based on what I learn?
- Who can I help?
Writing this memoir helps me sort through the lessons adoption has brought into my life. Hopefully, it will provide the means to apply those lessons to empower and enrich others’ lives. I don’t know if any of that makes sense but I hope it helps you understand part of my motivation in writing this book.
So what do you think–am I being unfair?