“Who ‘dat?” and Other Such Heart-Breaking Questions


Dear Ms. Feverfew –

I was sitting here watching the latest video your group posted on the blog, you know the one where the four of you are all wearing the same color of shirts and re-creating a popular local song? Poppy came in and started giggling and dancing along with you. When it was over, she pointed to the screen and asked, “Who ‘dat?”

My heart stopped beating for longer than I thought humanly possible.

How do I answer her? Where are the social workers now with their slick brochures and oily responses? Where’s Bishop Felix to tell me what a wonderful thing this is in my life, to remind me what a blessing adoption will be for ALL my children?

How do I explain to my precocious two-year old daughter who you are and why you are not in her life? And God damn it all – where is OUR miracle and blessing I was promised when I relinquished you for adoption? It’s been twenty years. I am still waiting.

M.

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