February 3, 1971 – August 26, 1989


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Dear Ms. Feverfew –

There are no coincidences.

“We often dream about people from whom we receive a letter by the next post. I have ascertained on several occasions that at the moment when the dream occurred the letter was already lying in the post-office of the addressee.”
C.G. Jung, Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle

All weekend long, I have been deep in contemplative though. Twenty-four years is a terribly long time. What have I done in twenty-four years? Had four babies, earned three degrees, gotten married twice, nearly died once. If Carolyn was still here, would she be proud of me? Would we still be best friends? Is she still aware of me and does she still care?

Tonight, a message arrived for me, via Daily Dose at Facebook, on this the 24th anniversary of her death. She is aware. She still cares. We would still be best of friends.

M.

P.S. (A rather long one): As I sit writing this letter to you, Facebook pings me. It’s one of my other sisters. We all miss Carolyn on this day and there isn’t one of the five of us sisters who doesn’t ache for the gravitational pull of her big sister presence in our lives.

This is what Elly asks, “You wrote a blog entry one time about the one of the last times you saw her, maybe the last… didn’t you say she was singing a song as she was leaving?”

I respond, “Yes! Buffalo Soldier. http://www.sostinkinhappy.com/2011/08/old-endings-and-new-beginnings-part-ii.html

The Beatles, Bob, and Led Zeppelin topped her playlist that last summer. The day before the accident, she told me if she ever died, she didn’t want anyone to speak at her funeral, she just wanted music. Loud, noisy, classic rock music.

We laughed because she was 18 – she was never going to die.”

Elly writes back: “Back around Christmas time Ryan erased my entire iPod of all of it’s music. I tossed it aside and never messed with it again. He brought it to me today… he showed me that the only song left on it is Buffalo Soldier. I am just blown away. I knew it was that song… I can’t believe it.”

More tears from me. There are no coincidences in life, especially when Carolyn is involved. Particularly when she is involved.

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